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Nobody gets married thinking they'll eventually have to negotiate who keeps the house. Yet here you are, trying to divide a life you built together. Mediation can give you another option. In Colorado, divorce mediation allows spouses to work through disputed issues with help from a neutral mediator rather than leaving every decision to a judge.
There isn't a simple checklist that determines whether mediation will work. Some couples disagree about nearly everything and still reach an agreement. Others struggle to make progress despite having only a few issues to resolve. The deciding factor is usually not the amount of conflict. It's whether both spouses are willing and able to actively participate in the process.
Mediation may be right in situations where:
Importantly, mediation can address some issues and not others. Partial agreements are common in mediation, with the court deciding any remaining disputes. This can still save spouses a significant amount of time and money.
Colorado does not require every divorcing couple to attend mediation. Under C.R.S. 13-22-311, a court of record may, in its discretion, refer or order parties to mediation or another dispute resolution program, subject to availability. In practice, mediation is a common step in Colorado family-law cases, and some judicial districts treat it as part of the process before a contested matter moves toward a hearing.
There are also circumstances in which you may be able to avoid court-ordered mediation. A court cannot order mediation when a party states that they were the victim of physical or psychological abuse by the other party and are unwilling to participate because of that abuse. You may also have grounds to object in writing based on a compelling reason. That objection generally must be made within five days after the referral, so waiting too long can mean losing the opportunity to raise it.
For most people, the practical question isn't whether mediation sounds appealing. If the court has ordered it, you'll need to either prepare for mediation or promptly determine whether you have a legitimate reason to object.
Once the parties agree to participate in mediation, the details are organized. This includes choosing a date, time, location, and mediator. Both parties will prepare for the mediation. The mediator typically performs an intake or preliminary call to identify the potential discussion points. On the day of the mediation, the mediator will begin by explaining their role and establish the expectations for the meeting.
Attorneys may attend mediation, although they generally aren't required to be present. However, bthe Court may very well require attorney presence if you are formally represented. You can also consult your attorney between sessions or before signing an agreement. Spouses also have the option of using a private mediator or Colorado’s Office of Dispute Resolution services. Mediators are offered for domestic relations cases at a lower a set rate of $75 per party per hour, which can be less expensive than hiring a private mediator. Qualifying indigent parties may also be eligible for reduced fees. Colorado law also provides that a party generally cannot be denied the right to proceed in court solely because they have not paid a mediator.
The mediator may meet with both parties together in a single session or separately in a shuttle format. Under C.R.S. 13-22-307, what's discussed during mediation is generally protected from being used as evidence later. There are exceptions to confidentiality, including certain disclosed threats involving a child's safety, bodily harm, or a felony.
Each spouse will have an opportunity to discuss disputed issues and their proposed possible solutions. The mediator may assist by clarifying disagreements, highlighting areas of agreement, and keeping the conversation on topic. The mediator might also propose possible compromises that address each party’s needs. The mediator will encourage the parties to reach a resolution. However, the mediator is not a judge, so they don’t make decisions about who is “right” and who is “wrong”.
If the parties reach an agreement, the mediator will typically help prepare a memorandum of understanding summarizing the terms. That memorandum does not automatically become a court order simply because the parties signed it. The agreed terms generally must be incorporated into the appropriate divorce documents and submitted to the court for review and approval.
Each divorce case is as unique as the spouses involved. While mediation may be a good fit for some separating couples, it isn’t the right path for everyone. When considering mediation, look for possible red flags that could indicate that mediation isn’t the right fit.
Colorado law specifically recognizes the importance of this issue. When a party states that they were the victim of physical or psychological abuse by the other party and is unwilling to participate because of that abuse, the court cannot order mediation.
Divorce mediation can give you and your spouse a chance to resolve disagreements without leaving every decision in the hands of a judge. But mediation isn't about simply splitting the difference or agreeing to whatever gets the conversation over with. Altitude Family Law, PC takes a personalized approach to Colorado family law matters.
If you're considering mediation or aren't sure where to start, contact Altitude Family Law, PC by calling 720-255-1727 to schedule a consultation.
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